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How to perform your best when it matters most

How to perform your best when it matters most

by | Taking my thoughts too seriously, Thinking repetitively about future and past painful feelings, events and failures

Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure?

You’re not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life’s challenges with confidence?

I had a chance to talk to Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D. regarding performance anxiety, managing self-doubt, and comparison thoughts among athletes or overthinkers.

If you have been following the podcast, you know by now that by making room for your thoughts, rather than struggling against them, you can redirect your focus towards the present moment and towards what matters.

In today’s episode, we discussed other micro-skills to manage mental chatter with curiosity and courage.

Key Takeaways

  • The pitfalls of positive thinking
  • Managing mind chatter
  • How to shift your attention from hypothetical worries to the present moment
  • Redirecting your attention from “what if” to “what is”
  • How to manage lapses in confidence
  • An effective mindset to perform challenging tasks
  • Exploring the concept of positive thinking
  • Understanding mind chatter and its impact
  • Strategies for managing mind chatter
  • Applying mind chatter management in real life scenarios

About Dr. Mitchell Greene, Ph.D.

Dr. Mitchell Greene is a nationally recognized licensed clinical and sport psychologist, whose success over the past 15-plus years is his ability to tailor personalized solutions to his client’s problems. Dr. Greene works primarily with athletes pursuing high performance goals, or coaches and athletic departments looking to educate their student-athletes on mental health and performance enhancement strategies.

In 2023, Dr. Greene published Courage over Confidence: Managing Mind Chatter and Winning the Mental Game, a book based on his years of working with high-performing athletes who struggle with managing doubts and negative thinking. His book has spent time as a top 5 “Youth Sport” and “Sport Psychology” Book on Amazon. Athletes and teams have purchased Dr. Greene’s book as an off-season guide to help them train their mind for competition, as well as an in-season resource to improve their mental game.

Screenshot 2023 12 09 at 1.45.28 PM

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z.

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The benefits of mindfulness when dealing with anxiety

The benefits of mindfulness when dealing with anxiety

by | Searching for certainty, predictability, & re-assurance, Taking my thoughts too seriously

Our minds are amazing at many, many things. Our minds are capable of remembering the birthday of the ones we love, calculate a budget for our next trip, think about our next writing project, and come up with questions for a podcast.

Our minds are also capable of ruminating, dwelling, coming up with strange thoughts, announcing all types of bad scenarios, and many more challenging scenarios …

  • Why are our minds both so awesome and so challenging to deal with at times?
  • How can we skillfully and effectively deal with our busy minds?

In today’s episode, I interview Josh Malina, host of the podcast “Anxiety Book Club.” We discuss the different ways in which our minds influence our physical and mental health and the different approaches to deal with them.

Josh and I discuss how mindfulness and meditation can help us deal with our busy minds; he points out different times in which anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and worry thoughts took him away from being present and pushed him to play-it-safe.

You will hear from Josh about his regular mindfulness practice and how it has helped him transform his relationship with his thoughts, become an observer of his thoughts, and to be non-judgmental of his worries, fears, and anxieties.

We discuss in particular three practices: exposure exercises, acceptance and commitment skills, and internal family systems.

I leave you with this quote:

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve or would’ve happened… Or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
 
– Tupac Shakur

Key Takeaways

  • What is OCD
  • What is Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • What is Internal Family Systems
  • What is perspective taking
  • Values
  • Exposure therapy
  • Talk therapy
  • Transcendental meditation
  • Choiceless meditation
  • Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

About Joshua Malina

Joshua Malina is a podcaster and a mental health advocate. He does monthly interviews with authors on anxiety, OCD and more. He is the host of the Anxiety Book Club Podcast, which helps its audience learn about mental health and anxiety through books and laughs!

mindfulness

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z.’s desk

Show notes with time-stamps

01:00 Exploring the Power and Challenges of Our Minds
01:48 Josh Malina: A Journey Through Anxiety and Mindfulness
03:01 Announcing the Act Beyond Perfectionism Online Class
26:22 Practical Applications of IFS and Other Therapies
 

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How to practice mindfulness in the middle of it all

How to practice mindfulness in the middle of it all

by | Disengaging and using safety crutches, Taking my thoughts too seriously

  • When was the last time you had an aha moment in which your next steps were clear?
  • Do you remember how it is to be in the midst of a difficult situation, and then, have clarity of what you need to do?

If you pay attention to your experiences, you may notice those aha moments in which your choices are clear – you will be able to clearly see what you are longing for or the changes you need to make in your life.

Without that awareness, it’s easier to play-it-safe, live automatically, and continue to respond to all those anxieties, worries, and fears in the same way you have been doing for years.

One way to build that awareness is through the practice of mindfulness.

In this conversation, Seth Gillihan, Ph.D. and I discuss how to nourish your mindfulness practice!

In a world that moves so fast, and there are hundreds of mindfulness apps, books on mindfulness, and mindfulness teachers, it is easy to develop misconceptions surrounding the practice of mindfulness or to hope for a quick fix with it.

But how can you really cultivate your mindfulness practice in your daily life?

Key Takeaways

  • How to approach mindfulness with a beginner’s mind
  • The intersection of christianity and mindfulness
  • Tips to practice mindfulness in your day-to-day life
  • How to use movement as a way to practice mindfulness
  • How to bring yourself back to the present when your mind is wandering
  • The intersection of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and mindfulness
  • How to coach yourself to recognize thoughts as thoughts versus getting consumed by them
  • How to practice non-attachment to how things are supposed to be
  • The relationship between non-attachment and mindfulness
  • How looking for the evidence for and against a worry may not be helpful
  • How to use mindfulness skills to manage worry 
  • The benefits of developing an observer-self

About Seth Gillihan, Ph.D.

Seth Gillihan is a licensed psychologist who specializes in mindful cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). He was a full-time faculty member at the University of Pennsylvania from 2008 to 2012, and taught in the Psychology Department at Haverford College from 2012-2015. He has been in private practice since 2012. Seth completed a doctorate in psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

He is the author of multiple books on mindfulness and CBT, Therapy Advisor with the self-therapy app Bloom, a medical reviewer for Everyday Health, and host of the Think Act Be podcast.

mindfulness

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z

Show notes with time-stamps

00:00 Unlocking Aha Moments and Mindfulness Insights
02:10 Dr. Seth Gillihan and the Mindfulness Conversation
02:22 Exploring Misconceptions and Cultivating Mindfulness
05:18 Personal Journey to Mindfulness: Seth’s Story
12:28 Mindfulness in Daily Life: Practical Tips and Experiences
17:15 Navigating Judgments and Staying Present: Mindful Techniques
21:19 Embracing Non-Attachment and Mindfulness in Everyday Activities
24:09 Embracing Life’s Unpredictability
24:48 Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavior: A Powerful Blend
25:18 Navigating Worry and Rumination with Mindfulness
27:37 The Power of Acceptance in Mindfulness Practice
28:38 Finding Peace Amidst Life’s Storms
31:16 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Connection
32:52 Transcending Pain and Suffering Through Mindfulness
33:51 A Personal Story of Illness and Rediscovery
37:59 Exploring the Transcendental in Psychology
41:29 Mindfulness and Spirituality
 

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How to overcome chronic indecision

How to overcome chronic indecision

by | Taking my thoughts too seriously

Can’t make up your mind about marrying your girlfriend or not? Can’t make up your mind about the TV you need to buy? Can’t make up your mind about staying or quitting your job?

If the prospect of making a decision makes you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, then you need to listen to this episode!

In this episode, Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D. and I discuss the processes behind making a decision and what keeps you stuck when having to make a choice.

Quite often, when facing these dilemmas, we play-it-safe by overthinking, dwelling, or ruminating, and end up putting ourselves into analysis-paralysis: thinking a lot about a choice without taking action. If you’re in the habit of not making a choice, you may be dealing with chronic indecisiveness, which is more than ordinary indecisions.

Key Takeaways

  • The processes behind chronic indecision
  • How to nurture experiential knowledge
  • Wise mind
  • The limitations of pros and cons
  • How to nurture a wise mind

About Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D.

Dr. Winston has been recognized regionally and nationally for over 40-years for her expertise in the treatment of OCD and anxiety disorders. After working at Sheppard Pratt Hospital for 17 years, she co-founded The Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland in 1992.

She has served multiple roles including Chair of the Clinical Advisory Board of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and was honored with the first Jerilyn Ross Clinician Advocate Award in 2011.

stress, indecision

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z’s desk

Show notes with time-stamps

00:00 Overcoming Fear-Based Struggles
00:11 The Podcast’s Mission
01:00 Navigating Life’s Decisions: From Marriage to Career Choices
01:30 Exploring Psychological Processes Behind Decision Making
02:21 Diving Deep into Chronic Indecision
07:55 Practical Tips for Overcoming Indecision in Relationships
11:18 Unlocking the Power of the Wise Mind
 

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Dealing with the stress of anticipating disasters around every corner

Dealing with the stress of anticipating disasters around every corner

by | Thinking repetitively about future and past painful feelings, events and failures, Taking my thoughts too seriously

  • How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation?
  • When was the last time someone invited you to a party, and you started worrying about it months in advance?
  • Do you stress about situations that have not happened yet?

When we are dealing with worries, anxieties, fears, we all play-it-safe. You might be playing it safe if you get stuck thinking of doom and gloomy scenarios, you may find yourself asking others what to do in order for you to not make any more mistakes.

Anybody can learn how our minds work and how to work with them. In this episode, I interview Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D., an anxiety expert. She and I discuss different skills to manage those future-oriented thoughts and those moments in which you get stuck in your imagination.

You will learn actionable skills to stop worrying about what might happen and live fully in the moment.

Key Takeaways

  • Definition of anticipatory anxiety.
  • How to handle moments in which your imagination hijacks you.
  • Three different levels of fear.
  • The difference between rumination and planning.
  • How to shift from “what if” to “what is.”
  • Dr. Winston’s metaphor of how to handle uncertainty.
  • The opposite of uncertainty, is not what you think it is.
  • Metacognitions.
  • Productive thinking versus unproductive thinking.

About Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D.

Dr. Winston has been recognized regionally and nationally for over 40-years for her expertise in the treatment of OCD and anxiety disorders. After working at Sheppard Pratt Hospital for 17 years, she co-founded The Anxiety and Stress Disorders Institute of Maryland in 1992.

She has served multiple roles including Chair of the Clinical Advisory Board of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and was honored with the first Jerilyn Ross Clinician Advocate Award in 2011.

She is a co-author of three books:

stress

Resources

Resources from Dr. Z’s desk

Show notes with time-stamps

02:09 Dr. Sally Winston: A Deep Dive into Anticipatory Anxiety
06:48 Exploring Anticipatory Anxiety: From Theory to Practical Advice
23:37 The Power of Trust Over Doubt: A Fresh Perspective
 

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Sitting with uncomfortable emotions if you don’t overthink

Sitting with uncomfortable emotions if you don’t overthink

by | Thinking repetitively about future and past painful feelings, events and failures, Accepting negative stories about myself and questioning my abilities, Assuming responsibility of important matters & others’ well-being, Criticizing, judging, & attacking yourself, Disengaging and using safety crutches, Doing things right, perfect & precisely: perfectionism, Overanalyzing, doubting, & indecisiveness, Procrastinating, postponing and delaying, Searching for certainty, predictability, & re-assurance, Taking my thoughts too seriously

Reading Time: 3 minutes

If you subtract overthinking for hours, what are you left with?

      • Uncomfortable emotions.
      • And a mind attempting to make sense of those feelings (I’m using emotions and feelings interchangeably).

And as much as there are hundreds of messages to fix our emotions, to understand them, to make sense of them. There are emotions to feel and there are emotions to be tossed. But to make the distinction, when dealing with overthinking rabbit holes, you need to check what are the thoughts about emotions your mind is holding onto.

I feel it; therefore, it’s true.

We all struggle to distinguish what’s happening in a moment from what our mind tells us is happening; it’s as if the feeling of the moment dictates reality. For example, if I’m taking an elevator and have shortness of breath, my mind could anticipate that being in the elevator is unsafe, that I may have a panic attack, that I may need to avoid taking elevators in the future. And just like that, he decides to avoid taking an elevator because of all those reasons my mind is giving me. It’s as if because I feel something, is true.

My uncomfortable feelings will last forever

As uncomfortable as feelings can be, they do have a life of their own: they usually last for seconds and dissipate one after another. When emotions are left alone, on average they may last 90-seconds, including the uncomfortable ones.

It’s always good to think about my feelings 

If you have watched the movie Inside Out, you may agree that every emotion is trying to convey something to us, including the uncomfortable ones. But identifying what an emotion is trying to communicate to us is very different than mulling over the emotion over and over (as I do when complaining about the water company I have to deal with).  Dwelling endlessly on our feelings can actually amplify the intensity and duration of them and that applies to all feelings.

I feel it, therefore I need to act on it

We feel what we feel, and our mind instantaneously comes up with thoughts about what to do in that situation. It is as if whatever we feel means that we have to act on. Think about this: if you’re driving in your car, you hear about a new type of virus, and if you’re prone to overthinking, then naturally, your mind will come up with what-if thoughts. Along those what-if-thoughts, you may notice your teeth clenching, your face flashing .. and then quickly your mind will push you to rehearse all different ways to handle that possibility of having that virus .. and then you’re worrying for hours in your head, attempting to solve a hypothesis. What a waste of energy!

Having a feeling doesn’t mean acting on the feeling

It’s natural to overthink and sometimes it’s necessary, but when overthinking has its own journey and takes you away from being present in your life then it’s acting as a form of avoidance. As a form of protecting yourself from sitting with those uncomfortable feelings and all the thoughts, your mind comes to about the feelings and that particular situation.

No matter how terrible the emotion is, it’s the way you think about it, that prolongs it for looooooooooong periods and if you act on those feelings, then you keep prolonging those uncomfortable emotions. Thinking about the situation over and over, dwelling on it, getting upset at us for being upset at a situation, trying to come up with a positive emotion right away, etc .. and any other thinking strategy just makes things worse for you.

As much as we would like to control our feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones, we don’t have control of them; we only have control of our behavioral responses to a given feeling.

We just don’t have control of what we feel, we feel what we feel.

And you can handle that.

 



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