Questions for you: Do you find yourself appreciating the outstanding performance of ballet dancers? What about those moments when the story of a movie is just mesmerizing? Do you remember how it feels when you see basketball players shooting the best throw they can possibly do? What about those moments when you’re using an electronic device and it functions perfectly?

Perfectionistic actions are everywhere from the moment we make our breakfast, a project we’re focusing on at work or school, the conversations we have with others, our looks, and so many more. Perfectionistic behaviors are like the different shades of the color blue. Why is that? A couple of things, first, we are wired to thrive – not just to survive. Second, we have received so many messages about being the best version of ourselves and to do only the things we’re good at. There is also another variable that keeps perfectionist actions going on: it feels good to do things right. Think about it, when you care about something, of course, you want to do it right and perfect.

Wanting to do things right and perfect makes sense! Who doesn’t want to do things right and perfect when we care about something? And yet, our pursuit of excellence gets tricky when our existence is defined by how well we do things. It’s not our fault, it just happens that we haven’t been taught how to distinguish when pursuing doing things right and perfect is helpful, and when it’s not.

If you’re curious, here are some common thoughts that we all may get hooked on when engaging in perfectionistic actions:

1. There is only one way, one time, and one change of showing how much I care about something.
2. I need to do everything right, as much as I can; otherwise, it’s a waste of my capacities.
3. I just need a little bit more time, so I can get this right and perfect.
4. Details matter, all the time: say hello to nitpicking, hairsplitting, and fussiness.
5. Things are this or that, either or; either, I’m a failure or successful
6. Only the perfect final product, the final outcome, or the final result matters
7. Making a mistake means that I’m not good enough.
8. If I don’t do this right now, this will be the end of ….
9. I need more information to make the “right & perfect decision.”
10. It’s not ready, it’s not perfectly ready, so I have to postpone this deadline (procrastination + perfectionistic actions go hand and hand)

After reading these thoughts, which ones relate to you? All of them? Some of them? Are there other thoughts that are not on this list but push you to do things right and perfect to the point that adds excessive distress for you? Let me know.

If you want to dig deeper on how perfectionist actions are showing up in your life, here are some questions for you:

1. Do you keep pushing for doing things right and perfect even if that means missing important activities in your life and having high degrees of distress?
2. Do you keep trying to get things right because it feels like that wholly represents who you are?

You and I know that life isn’t perfect, and neither we are.

This post is not about encouraging you to do mediocre things but about inviting you to step back, look at all the things you deeply care about, and check whether your wish, wants, and hopes for doing things right and perfect is long-lasting, sustainable, and a move towards who you want to be in this imperfect, unpredictable, and uncertain world.​

I’m all about harnessing the power of perfectionistic behaviors.