Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies!
If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now.
When you’re pursuing a top performance –​ from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and your well being altogether.
In this episode, Brad Stulberg and I discussed research-based skills to deal with high-achieving and striving behaviors in a skillful manner and without losing yourself.
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
- How to distinguish when perfectionistic actions are working for you or against you
- The difference between values-based goals and ego-driven goals
- How to avoid burnout in the information era
- How to manage your proneness to perfectionistic actions
- Day-to-day experiences of experiential avoidance
- Tips to handle the fear of failure
- How to figure out what is on the other side of your fears
- How to practice self-compassion when handling our fears
About Brad Stulberg
Brad Stulberg’s work explores principles of mastery and well-being that transcend capabilities and domains. Brad is particularly interested in the philosophical and psychological foundations of excellence, and the habits and practices necessary to attain it. He is an author of the book, The Practice of Groundedness, and coauthor of the books Peak Performace and The Passion Paradox.
These books explore the art, science, and practice of motivation, values-driven excellence, and maximizing one’s potential—all the while realizing a more fulfilling and sustainable kind of success.
He writes about these concepts on The Growth Equation, his popular blog and multimedia platform. He is a regular contributor at The New York Times, and his work has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, New Yorker, Time, Los Angeles Times, Wired, New York Magazine, Sports Illustrated, and more. He is also a contributing editor to Outside Magazine. In his coaching practice, he intimately partners with clients to apply the principles about which he writes.
Brad’s latest book
Resources
- The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds–Not Crushes–Your Soul by Brad Stulberg
- The Growth Equation website
- Brad Stulberg’s website: https://www.bradstulberg.com/
- Brad Stulberg’s Twitter: @BStulberg
- Brad Stulberg’s Instagram: @bradstulberg
- Brad Stulberg’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brad-stulberg-009b168b/
Resources from Dr. Z
- The ACT Audiobook for High-Achieving,Striving and Perfectionistic behaviors
- The Upside of Perfectionism: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook
Show notes with time stamps
00:31 Understanding Fear-Based Reactions
01:02 Overcoming Perfectionism
01:36 Interview with Brad Stulberg: High Achieving and Striving Behaviors
02:19 Reflecting on Your Life and Overcoming Overthinking
03:28 Living According to Your Values
04:10 Using a Values-Based Review to Live the Life You Want
04:46 Conversation with Brad Stulberg: Balancing Productivity and Wellbeing
05:43 Understanding the Double-Edged Sword of Optimization
08:44 Dealing with Fear of Failure and Regret
17:48 Navigating Ego-Driven Goals and Values-Based Goals
24:09 Overcoming Experiential Avoidance
