- Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself?
- When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat?
- How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others’ opinions so you are liked by others?
Group thinking, agreeing quickly with others, avoiding sharing our opinions, or making sure we don’t rock the boat are the many ways in which we play-it-safe when dealing with fears of rejection, not being liked, or not belonging in a group.
But how do those playing-it-safe moves work in our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves? When is it effective to minimize interpersonal conflict, and when is it not? How and when do we examine our beliefs about how things should be? How do we avoid cognitive rigidity?
In this conversation with Dr. Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., he shares his research on persuasion, healthy dissentment, group thinking, and skills to handle conflict that go beyond assertiveness training.
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
- How group thinking leads us to “underseen” or “overseen” social situations or any other matters
- What is healthy resentment
- Skills to handle cognitive rigidity
- The basics of the science of persuasion
- How intolerance of uncertainty plays a role in our thinking
- Why people in disadvantage still support leaders that don’t favor them
- The case of Evo Morales, the former president of Bolivia, and how group thinking created a different image of his government.
About Dr. Todd Kashdan, Ph.D.
Dr. Todd B. Kashdan is a Professor of Psychology at George Mason University. He is a leading authority on well-being, curiosity, psychological flexibility, and resilience. For over 20 years, Dr. Kashdan has been teaching college courses on the science of well-being.
Dr. Kashdan has published over 200 peer-reviewed articles and his work has been cited over 30,000 times. He is the author of several books including Curious? Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life and The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why being your whole self – not just your “good” self – drives success and fulfillment.
Dr. Kashdan received the American Psychological Association Award for Distinguished Scientific Early Career Contributions to Psychology and Distinguished Faculty Member of the Year at George Mason University.
Dr. Kashdan is a frequent contributor to the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, and Psychology Today. He has also been a guest on national radios and podcasts. He is a keynote speaker and a consultant for organizations as diverse as Mercedes-Benz, Prudential, General Mills, Merck, United States Department of Defense, and World Bank Group.
Resources
- Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life by Todd B. Kashdan
- The Art of Insubordination: How to Dissent and Defy Effectively by Todd B. Kashdan
- Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World by Adam Grant
- Dr Kashdan’s website: https://toddkashdan.com/
- Dr Kashdan’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkashdan/
- Dr. Kashdan’s Instagram: @toddkashdan
- Dr. Kashdan’s Twitter: @toddkashdan